Bible belt hell

My husband and I live in the heartland of Bible belt America. We work hard, live clean, pay bills, lease cars; all the normal everyday American dream shit. We went to court a few months ago for custody of my husband's two kids. They are six and eight. His ex-wife beats them, denies them food, and her boyfriend refuses to spend time with them at all because they have a biological child together. We got denied custody, not because we are bad people but because our occupation as entrepeneurs in the tattoo/piercing world was "questionable". My husband is the best man that I have ever known. He is a Marine. He has shed blood for his country in knife and gunshot wounds. He works so hard for his money and for his respect. It just upsets me that we were so visciously dealt with by the court. We only have supervised visitations every other weekend for six hours. We cannot call during the week except on the Wednesday before visitation to confirm the date and time. We are forced to pay the maximum in child support each week allowed by law. And it says, verbatim, in the judge's decision "you [his ex-wife] are correct in denying visitation for any reason pertaining to child support." Which is ILLEGAL in Indiana. You cannot deny visitation for reason of lack of child support payment. I am just so frustrated. I don't know what to do about all this. I love his sons so much. They are the first thoughts on our minds in the morning and the last thoughts at night. We pray for them every day and hope to God that today won't be the day that we get a call from the police saying that there was an "accident". Does anyone have any advice for us. Especially anyone who knows Indiana laws. Please help us. We are miserable. All because we are ourselves, unapologetically. Covering the tattoos are not really an option for me because of number and sizing and my husband's piercings are the problem (12 facial, ears gaged to 13/16" or 22mm, 3 neck piercings). We have problems hiding who we are without wearing veils, turtlenecks, juliet sleeves, high-rise waists, and long legs. *ironic scoff*

wow that is a shame to be judged cause you are inked and by the courts to boot. Just shows how shallow some are when they are so uneducated about tattoos. I mean tattoos have been around for ages for crying out loud, wish you lost of luck though and your in my thoughts,

Well, the only advice that I can see to give you might be that it's time to make a few judgement calls that might not be fun to make. If you know that the place you live is ultra conservative, then maybe you need to decide wether custody of your children is more important than your personal expression of "who" you are. If you really want your children that bad, get rid of the facial piercings. If "looking different" was the only thing standing in the way of me getting child custody, then those piercings would have been gone yesterday! Know what I mean? If I had to dress up in Khaki Dockers and a Polo shirt, that's exactly what I would do. Then, after you get custody, go out and celebrate by getting a face piercing or something. It sucks, I know, but sometimes the way it should be and the way things are ,are not even close to the same. If you were denied because of his job ( a job that is legitimate, and legal...I mean, if your'e paying taxes, then it's a REAL job same as anyone else), well, then You might contact someone from the ACLU or another civil rights organization and see what ground you have to stand on. Who knows, you might be able to get it moved to a higher court. Good luck to you. It can sure be aggrivating to live amongst the holier than thou.

Maybe you did and maybe you didn't lose custody solely because of your occupation...If you did, that sucks. On the otherhand it seems to be a profession that appeals to, or requires, thick skin at times and attitude... Neither of which necessarily makes you a bad parent (actually could probably make a better parent if applied in the right way) but it might come off as disrespectful or rub a judge the wrong way in court. I'd agree with those who say lose the facemetal & wear a turtleneck. If the x is as bad as you say maybe the focus should be on reporting her to child protection as a bad parent, rather than selling yourselves as great ones if you think it's a tough sell. Are you two married? Is the x and her boyfriend married? If you guys are married and the x is not then you'll have a better standing in the eyes of the court...make the unfairness and descrimination built into the system work for you instead of against you. Sounds like you should be using a good/better lawyer as well if the judge is as blatantly disregarding the law as you say. "We pray for them every day and hope to God that today won't be the day that we get a call from the police saying that there was an "accident"." It sounds like you aren't "in" the bible belt, you are part of it! Good luck with getting the boys in any case.

this rips my ass over this myself being a prodigy child of the foster home system from the 60s through the 70s i have dealt with being bounced around and such and my heart is pouring out for you i am sorry you and your hubby have to go through all this and while i am not a religious person i hope that you can get the kids back this is one thing that has pissed me off to no end for one to judge a person by there tattoos or piericengs what the hell happened to freedom to express ones self and the right to do so CORPERATE AMERICA the rich that run this country are so damm narrow minded ok don get off the soap box sorry i just get so worked up when someone makes judgement over ones apperance or choice of lifestyle i was raised with 1% bikers but i keep to my morals and ive been told im a helluva a nice guy get a hold of th aclu there should be something that can be done hell tattoos have been traced back to the days of egypt for christ sakes best of luck to you and untuil you can get something going play by there rules jump when they say jump dont even ask how high if they say shit purple flowers hold your nose and do it just play there game until you get a good defensive game plan going best of luck to you all sincerly don

Oh, and there is some pretty convincing concealing makeup on the market for the tattoos beyond the turtleneck sweater.