HEY AUNT CANNY....

Hey Aunt Canny... I asked you about your age because the grammar on your post was so bad, that I was wondering if you were a child, or someone in a hurry, or just a complete fucking moron. If you were a child, I wanted to see if I could clarify what you were talking about. If you were an adult in a hurry, then I couldn't understand the point you were trying to make about the drawing because it wasn't clear. But when you went to my personal email to tell me "that's not cool" it became obvious that it's number 3. You didn't even know why I was asking you.. and it was prefaced with "No Offense,". You overstepped your bounds. If you've got something to say to me, you can say it right here in front of god and everyone, just like everyone else does. That's what a forum is for, so everyone can chime in. You are not a friend of mine, at least not yet, so until you are, stay the fuck off my personal email. Got it? This is a privacy issue. DO NOT make me angry about this. Am I making myself clear? Cactus Al

Oh, sorry, Aunt Cammy? That is?

I kinda wondered about that as well Al... Its a little depressing when people with such bad grammar and spelling are interested in becoming a tattooist. I'm sure it can all be worked out well before they ever touch a machine but can you imagine seeing 'Onle God Ken Juge Me' on some dudes shoulders?! Or how about 'Deth Befor Deshoner' (shudder) Noones perfect but if spelling isnt your thing and you speak english as a first language, stay away from the machines!

....H8TERS!.... *dives behind the sofa*

Cactus takes off running after J-Werk, J-Werk runs screaming for the back screen door flailing his arms wildly in the air. J-Werk just barely makes it out the screen door before it slams in Cactus's face....

...And somewhere Mario is falling out of his chair with laughter!!

Good. Laugh it up Mario. Got my willow switch, and I'm comin' after you next!

*Tip toeing towards the front door with a brown paper bag (contents unknown to our would-be victim) in his hand, J-Werk pulls out his lighter. Setting the bag to flame, he sets it down on the front step of Cacti's house, and yells "H8TER!", and runs for cover back in the bushes.... he waits....*

Cactus comes out on the porch in a bathrobe, belly on full display, puffing a cigar, looks down and says "God Damned Kids!!" Stamps out the bag. The rest, as they say, is history.

* TAz runs out the door wearing only a sock on his "lil TAz" blowing holes in the entire neighborhood with his beloved .44 magnum while shouting "shut the fuck up...DRAW SOMETHING!!!!"

J-Werk's in Trouble! J-Werk's in Trouble! J- Werk's in Trouble!

Taz, would that be a tube sock or an ankle length?

Mario has relocated and is now 20 yards out in the driveway, away from clip cord and willow stick striking distance still rolling!!!

-watches on from safety in a tree, mouth agape-

Damn Guys, I'm gone for a week and ya'll run amuck, Don't you have something to clean! Shit I sound like Taz.......

*Shouts at Mamacat, "ANKLE LENGTH!"* .... *PING!* (Stray bullet from TAz's .44 ricochets off the top of the trash can.) *J-Werk notices that Taz has emptied the clip and is now charging the trash can, sock, "lil taz", and clip chord in hand.... "It was a JOKE!" J-Werk exlaims as he darts from his cover looking over at Mario who is now rolling on the pavement, snotting with laughter and has appeared to have wet himself.*

BOOM!!!!! Jwerk takes a direct hit from a .44 mag.....jagged bloody pieces of Jwerk hang wetly from Marios ears who is laughing so hard he doesn't even notice.

*Ouch! You shot me in the ass!* TAz, FYI... The guy liked the aquarius design. I will talk to him tonight to see when he can come in the get that done. The girl with the "dickbat" cat will be back at work tomorrow so I will see what I can work out with her. I'm pullin another 12 hour shift so I will get some shit done tonight.... *NOW GO PUT YOUR SHOES ON IF YOU"RE GOING TO BE RUNNING AROUND OUTSIDE!!!....WHACK!...god damn hemp clip chords!*

Saiyges stupid question of the day: What the hell is a dickbat?

Seriously, quit laughing. I keep seeing that in reference to what seems like a specific tat. -frowns at the carnage strewn out below, continues to swing her feet to and fro on the limb-

...A dick with bat wings....wow, I just snotted!

You're serious? A fucking penis with bat wings???? Why the f*ck would someone get a farking penis inked on them with f*cking bat wings??? -boggle-

This is turning into a reallyl good story!!!!! WHo woulda thunk....

The original tattoo in question was in fact supposed to be a rendering of a cats face but due to skill, well lack of, of the artist the result resembles a phallic object with large bat wings. We have seen quite a few dickbats in our day sadly to say and the very term has become a generic moniker for a very poorly done tattoo. Not much of a story. * TAz having lost the kneelength stocking and causing screams and fainting from the denizens of the strange neighborhood we are fantasizing about throws a rock at some girl sitting in a tree and yells at her to get to work while driving Jwerk towards the dark and stained doorway with random shots....Jwerk screams in terror and pleads to not be forced back into the "bad place" TAz laughs in a sepulchral tone as jwerk is dragged into the door....no one really notices the red dripping stains and fingernail trails that adorn the door...Mario stands to leave and is immediately struck by a garbage truck...although paralyzed from the waist down he can still tattoo* Join us tomorrow for the next installment "Cactus Al Gets Revenge!"

Get to work? Get to work?! But.. my last day was yesterday!!! ... oh... ! -Saiyges eyes widen as another object comes flying at her, the sketchbook's pages flapping before smacking her in the forehead- ..... Gotcha.... Going.... Eesh. -muttering- So violent, bah! As per the .... tattoo... I'm guessing its the result of flash yah? Sorry for the err... boisterous reaction But sheesh.

I seriously doubt that the tattoo was a result of flash... There's just no fricken way... When the person asked me to design a cover up for it I had to take a picture of it with my camera phone, since I was at work and needed a visual reference. It wasn't until I looked at it closely on my phone and by simply turning it upside down did I notice the stricking resemblence to the "dickbat." But here is my question, now that we are momentarily paused in our drama....Why was Cactus first seen wearing only a robe, smoking a cuban, and then Taz came running out sporting only the sock?! ... Better yet, what the hell was I doing in there to begin with!!!! *The dark night air is filled with the erie sounds of Cacti's banjo as he plucks along surrounded by the sweet scent and glow of his still lit cuban on the front porch. Muffled in the background are the blood curdling screams of J-Werk and the dark, sinister giggling of TAz....*

Mario quietly schemes behind Saiyge's tree, trying to figure out the best strategy for stealing Taz's clip cord... He must avenge Sir J-Werks busted ass!!

HEY WAIT A MINUTE!! Mario gets hit by a truck!?!? I didnt see that coming!! Oh my God, they killed Mario!! You bastards!!

Cactus surveys the whole situation, takes a big, long, satisfying drag off of the stogie, reaches down, pat's his ol' coon hound on the head, says to the dog, "Well.... that's that I guess.... You wanna go inta town for a big orange sodee Cooter? The dog groans. He aint movin.

* Mario J is NOT DEAD!!! just paralyzed from the penis down!