Okee dokee...Who's here?

I'm here, and feeling fiesty. Who wants to hang out with me?!?

Just hanging...Hoping to hear a good word on Taz.

Hello to ya! TAz posted and said he's back from the ER...

*looks around* i'm here, but i'm not sure exactly where "here" is.

You're exactly where you need to be. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) has been posted in one of the threads below....

I'm back from wrestling with a dilusional psychopath.... You know I'm down for hanging with The Val! How are you Paleo? Jessie, quiz to come. I hope you have studied.

Hmm...what else are you down for?

.... ~thinking to self, *damn you for keeping my tongue in check!*~

I'm down for the c..................ount...

Not before me you aren't!

...Okay... who turned the god damn lights out?

ok new friends i'm going to drive home from work, get ivory soap, a cheap bottle of wine, and sit on the damn internet all night cause i ain't gots no money to go out. either you're with me or against me, and if you're against me i hope you're cute.

Oh, I see... She reads The One Thread and now she's hollarin' commands..... Well I am fucklizard over this one....

Jessie, Glad you're going to hang out with us for the evening. I like your sense of humor. You should fit in just fine. J, what have I told you about holding your tongue... it kinda defeats the..um..purpose

And I can see eye balls in the dark... Lurkers! Lurkers everywhere!!!

..you mean the porpoise?

Nope. I definitely meant the purpose.. but if the porpoise wants to come along for the ride, that's fine by me I mean, come on.... we're supposed to be making up....repeatedly..

Yes!!! We are!!! Now where is my suit?

suit? what the fuck do you need clothing for?

So we can play "what's up my sleeve?" ...OMG! Where I just went with that on my own! roflmao!

I was thinking more along the lines of twister.....

Okay, but I'm doing the spinning!!!

Just you and I (just you and I.).... sharing this thread together....

That could get a little painful.... TIM: We found fresh meat for you, btw......

J... It's always you and I. DUH.....that's why we're o.s.'s

That is sooooo true.... I am getting ready to head home from work. Make yourself comfortable whilst I am gone and I will be back on in a few.... *smooches*

ok.. talk to ya in a few.. drive safe

DAMMITTTTTTT!!! Where the hell is everyone?!?!

Hola chica...how're you doin tonight val?

wine: Check internet connection: Check wise asses to talk to: ??

Check :)

here after dinner at chili's. Ready to go to the everglades with my mother in law. Hope no alligator eat us for lunch. See you all soon (if not eaten)

Check Took you long enough to get home from work, Jess Jer, how are ya?

If you're in Miami... Isn't it a little dark to be going out to the everglades?

i heart the everglades, grew up in miami, where are you located?

I'm doing alright. Pretty much completely over that hangover thing that comes along with a good night of drinking :). gotta love it.

Lucy! I'm home!

Bout time!! I was getting cold and lonely here...

welcome home J

*checking self for warmth and personality* hey now! i think i've just been slighted~

So Jess... what kinda wine did ya get? Do you plan on drinking the entire bottle by yourself? Cause we really don't condone drinking around here...

well dinner time for me ladies and gents...I may or may not come back, (probably will though)

Jess dear.. that comment wasn't directed at you... you will soon figure out the relationship of J and I.. But everyone was gone...and I was cold and lonely... then everyone showed up at once (same time you did) JASON: are you gonna warm up your o.s. or what?

*backs out of thread slowly* *flicks off non-drinking types* *has drinker's remorse, and apologizes*

NOOOOOOO only kidding..... only kidding......

You know it Mama!!!!

I think I scared our new friend away...:o(

No!!! no worries, i'm fluent in sarcasmese. i wasn't scared just browsing the internet for things to covet. www.myplasticheart.com

OMG, good! I'm so glad you're fluent in sarcasmese. So....whatcha coveting? I happen to be ebauming it at the moment...

toys, but they're really very cool toys. i don't so much covet having them as covet making them.

Theval, pookie, how am I going to warm up my o.s if you are ebauming?

You guys need a chat room in here. Maybe all go open a room in Paltalk? Can either type...talk on mikes...and video..AS A GROUP. Might be a lot easier than this. lol

*so many bad, dirty thoughts running through head* *all of which are beyond inappropriate* Oh, there's ways... trust me! That reminds me.. I've got a video to send you....

But the anticipation of seeing new posts cannot be duplicated!!

is there a better way to refresh without exiting and entering the thread. not that i don't heart a bit of the old in and out, but it's rather time consuming and i need to be focusing my energy on impressing my new friends.

also i'm ready to be quizzed on all your bizzarre fetishes and secret balloon animal sex. J - i was ready for the giraffe.

Yup. Once you've done YOUR post, and have EXITED the thread (cause hitting refresh right after you hit submit and haven't gone out of the thread yet will cause double posts) You can then open the thread back up, and just leave the thread open, and hit refresh ocassionally. The new posts will pop right in I really hope that made sense..

it did, it's just an awful lot of work, and i'm so very very lazy . . . might as well just stick the straw in the bottle of wine if i'm going to have to be clicking in and out of threads all night. *sigh* yes, i'm a huge pain in the ass, but you invited me in :)

This is why I love metaphorical phrasing..... Although I feel a little blush coming over me for I have noticed John has been watching! *lol* Jessie, you are young and new. Do not leap into with both feet that which you will have to use your hands to get out of.... what the hell did I just fucking say? Theval, hold one minute while I put on some Right Said Fred....

Did someone say fresh meat?

Damned voyeurs... *busts out the catwalk strut* Jess, why the hell isn't the straw already in the bottle? fuckin slacker.

that's fair, i am a newbie. but i'm tough, i just went diving with sharks last week, and i'm good with both innuendo and insults. i have a high speed connection and a cute foot tattoo (hi TCE) and i know all your secrets. so i think i'll do alright. maybe

I too sexy by faaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

TCE, Jess...Jess, TCE there.. you two have been properly introduced.

Oh Jess................aren't you the bright penny!?! Who doesn't know my secrets? LOL!!! If you read the foot tattoo thread, you can see it's really not my thing though. Have a drink on me!! TCE

and trust me... he means ON him

Yes Tim, we are holding high court for our new initiate, Jessie. No excuse me, I have to warm up The Val.... *fossy fossy fossy...*

TCE - hrmph! J - thank you. : ) Theval: slurrp

Holy shit! Did you just slurp me? thanks!

I left in the grace clause though......................as I said,,,,,,,,,in good taste!! Where's my Amber........................ale?

Snuffy wuffykins... use a little more pressure, would ya?

I'm trying but the plug-in to the electric blanket is bent....

sorry, did i slurp prematurely?? i have an overactive slurper and little impulse control.

Will the defense please present evidence...................of innocence?

meh... screw the electric blanket... don't we have any of the self heating oil stuff left?

You mean them massage oils?

one can never slurp prematurely... although.. actually....you're the first one to slurp me, so I really have no basis for comparison...

Whar's Jywark? I like the way he talks..................MMmmm Hmm.

Yeah! That stuff.. or did it get used up during the last crazy go around? Everything from that night is kind of a blur

then, don't worry, i did it just riiight.

I don't know, you were the last one with it........................when you were workin' the snake........................at least until it broke. Still got tatters hangin, do ya?

Yes, we still have oil left but after catching fire last time I figured the occasional electric shocks from the blanket would do.... Who wants cheese and grapes?

Beefsteak for me, please..

Oi.........this thread is giving me a migraine.................. I'm not in my thirties anymore ya know......................Snake sex with butts..............electrical fires with blankets....................oil fires with snakes and butts...................graffittied female feet.................I can't take it!!!!!!!!

*sigh* Guess you're just gonna have to warm me up the old fashioned way.. Got any wood for the fireplace?

um, Jess....

yeeeeeeeeeeeeees?

ROFLMAO! Tim, so nice of you to condence this little escapade for everyone..... Theval.... Fuck the fireplace!!! I'm Craig Christ tonight girl!!!

I'm fucking Craig.....

Jess.. you're slacking... what are you doing?

sugar booger, check your e-mail

I just did...butt pimple? I can't wait.... And for your assignment you need to find, once again, Stephen Lynch's song "Little Tiny Moustache" That's right... you're fucking Craig Christ! *lol* Jess....? The bottle must have won. Tim.... How's the migraine... shake it more than twice; you're playing with it.

ooh.....i'm on it!

no, i had to go brush my hair and put on eyeliner so i can go out, i always start the night with the best, quiet night at home intentions, but i always lose. *sigh*

OH... so you're leaving us? What... are we no longer good enough for you? Fine. Go.

shh! i have to leave now to maintain some of the mystery, otherwise you'll be sick of me in no time and i'll have to go back to talking to people who have NO IDEA what to do with a bubbling star tattoo! perish the thought.

my little grizzly bear.... you still here? Jess is abandoning us... *sends Tim some super powerful migraine buster pills*

yeah... that turned my stomach over a little bit. So of course I knew you'd enjoy it!

Yes, thank you for that my demented delyla... But I would like to turn something else over now.... Oops!

smack it up, flip it, rub it down.....

Ha! Who needs a body bag!?

why is it always you and I as the last one's standing? maybe we should just resort to e-mail or msn messanger..

I will second that motion ... ~grin~ ... no, not that motion.... I will have to download msn.... but whiltststststs that is taking place, shall we e-mail? Conventional or myspace.... or your space?

let's go hit up the myspace for now.. I'd like to know.. who got the the notion. to rock the boat....don't rock the boat baby... rock the boat..

ok i haven't left yet, finishing last glass of wine first. it's true, i'm addicted already. especially if i'm missing out on something nauseating. . .

I did!!!!! hehehe! To myspace!

oh...so now she comes back...

is it too late? *sniffs armpits* do i Offend?

it's never too late..

The fucking thing won't let me in!!! Ack... i hate myspace sometimes..

i suffer from that same affliction. sigh. so y'all are on myspace now?

I'm not, cause the stupid fucking thing won't let me login....

I'm FREEEEEEEEE! for the next.. 15 hours..

AMBER!!!! Helloooo! How are ya?! Oohhh... we gotta newbie!

So I saw.. I'm gonna skip over most of this thread for tonight... as for how I am.. I have no salt in my eye now.. but.. I just spent most of the past 12 hours on my feet.. ask them how they are and you'll get a different response..

Glad you got the salt out of your eye. I won't ask about your feet. That's Tim's responsibility. so.. whatcha doin?

Eating.. for like.. the first time in a few days.. lol.. and sitting.. seriously.. just fuckin' sitting.. I love it.. And yeah.. where the fuck is Tim? I bet he gives great foot massages, and I really seriously need one.

that comment right there might just have been enough to bring him outta hiding.... yes... sitting is good. whatcha eatin? Speaking of eating.. I think I'll go hit up some brownies and chocolate chip cookies....mmmm.....

Food from work.. hamburger and fries.. nothing too exciting, but, it's still food.. god.. I had some awful tables tonight.. ask me and I'll tell you about 'em..

so.... tell me a story about tables...

Oh, so everyone is in this room still..... That's sthuper.

i sent you a message... i was having technical difficulties!!! but now we're good...

Okay.. so my first table of the night.. was a table of six.. apparantly, they decided to give me (the new girl) the section where all the really big parties get sat.. on a Friday night.. when we usually get a bunch of really big parties.. It was two adults, and 4 kids no older than 1st grade.. most of them like, kindergartern, preschool.. the woman.. seriously needed some fuckin' prozac.. she was like, the woman from hell.. it took forever to get their food out, because between the time they sat down, and the time I put their ticket in.. we literally got like, 15 more tables.. keep in mind, we have 29 tables in our restaurant, and they were sitting at two of them.. so.. their food took forever to get there.. the fries were cold.. the woman was bitching at me.. and I'm apologizing, and she asks for the manager.. and I was just like.."THANK FUCKIN' GOD!" 'cause once they ask for the manager, they're the managers table, but I still get the tips.. all in all, they did leave a pretty decent tip though.. So, my next major table was a table of 13.. THIRTEEN fuckin' people.. Just.. wow.. I got two tables of 13 tonight.. must be my lucky night, lol.. but yeah.. that was a bitch and a half.. because like, every time I got to the end of the table, the beginning of the table needed something else.. so I got a lot of exercise between the kitchen/food prep. area, and the table.. twice.. I did have a couple of really good tables though.. I had a few smaller tables that I pretty much so kept sat all night.. so go that.. I made $60 bucks.. But man, I wanted to shoot that lady..

Shweet! Just so you know my computer is running ungodly slow while I am downlaoding MSN. So it might take me a minute until this thing is done... damn dial up.... so, back to going slow....

lol.. MSN is fun.. and why do I have french fries in my apron?

Wow, sounds like you had a stupendous night.... that is, if you are into the s&m thing...

Damn... sounds like an interesting night. Sorry about the bitchy lady and the hordes of people. Stealing fries from the restuarant, huh? J sweetie.. you just take your time...

What.. shakes and malts? lol.. I'm still in my uniform.. I'm afraid if I go upstairs and sit down on my bed.. I'll pass out before I'm ready to.

On a different note, have any of you guys ever seen $60 in ones? It's pretty funny..

yeah... no passing out. you have to hang out here with us....there is no escape..

At least for a little bit.. lol.. I'm not quite ready to pass out yet.. I need like.. another 45 minutes.. I love the way my right foot doesn't hurt at all, but my left foot is killing me.. and why do I also have bits and pieces of french fries in my shirt? Where the fuck did all these french fries come from..?

i have no idea...maybe those kids threw them at you when you weren't looking....

Perhaps... and I'm too damn tired to take another shower tonight.

meh.... take one in the morning...

My thoughts exactly.. okay.. from now on.. remind me to have the managers trade me ones for 10s and 20s.. this wad of cash doesn't fit in my wallet.

wtg next time... remind your manager to give you bigger bills

Thanks.. taking my grandma out to lunch for her birthday tomorrow should be fun.. lol.. for them.

sounds like good times.. man...i'm at the point of the night where i'm bored, but not bored... maybe i'm just getting tired....

I'll make it fit... the wad that is....er...of cash.... hmmm, yeah.....

You do that... lol.. I'll zone unless you guys post somethin'..

hmmmm...

You guys gotta keep me entertained... yo.

A beautiful butterfly came fluttering by and landed on my face, just a smidgen from my eye I said to my little friend: GET THE FUCK OFF ME, BUG!

OMFG!!! It's didn't work! ... I mean it did but this fucking computer has leprosy and can't handle the shit! AHhhhhhhh!!!! Val do you have AIM? .... While you answer that I am going to hop over to myspace...

lol.. AIM

i have no idea what aim is.. why won't it work?

AIM = Aol Instant messenger.. I haff it..

C'mon guys.. I'm countin' on one of you to keep me entertained for like, the next twenty minutes.

ok, ok... sorry.. went to go smoke.. sheesh Ms. demanding..

It says that I "don't have the lastest c=version of explorer."... It took a blazing hour to download an 8mb file.... I can't even phathom what a 77mb file will take.... I know I can run aol instant messenger.... my sister has that downloaded on here.... ~throwing temper tantrum at inability to perform!~

i guess i could download aim myspace is being retarded, and i'm having trouble logging on to it again..

Yeah.. I'm demanding, and needy.. and I like instant gratification.. deal with it.. =P

ok... so that's downloading now...

pretty please pumpkin.....

nothing wrong with instant gratification. I demanded attention earlier tonight, actually. :o)

Wait.. Theval is edible? Holy shit.. why didn't someone tell me before? -grabs fork- Hah.. jk..

Yes I would call that demanding.... I prefer to beat around the bush! =P

Well, demanding is better than demaning.

great... got slurped by one chick, and now another wants to eat me... this is an odd night...

Sheesh! Must be nice! ... who's eating who here?

Actually.. I was jusr kidding.. food doesn't sound to appealing after I just ate,,

oh.. so now I'm not appealing?

Now now, I didn't say that.. I just said that FOOD doesn't sound too appealing..

Ok... i feel better than... WAIT.. what the fuck am I saying?!? Anywhoo/.. Trying to download that shit.. having technical difficulties...

Technical difficulties seems to be the phrase of the evening.

I smell pie....

ok, it's just plain not fucking working.

Piiiiieeee.. anyway.. good night guys.. thanks for keeping me entertained.. lol.. then, after I wake up and such.. I get to do it all again tomorrow.. except until later..

Judas Priest! All I want to do is talk to my sugarbottoms!!!

night! thanks for hangin for a little while!

Good night Amber.... Val, my wuv, my darwing, my viowet.... we just ain't havin no fuckin' luck is we?

nopes... I don't know why it wouldn't download on mine.. it got part way through, and then the 'next' button went all grayed out and i couldn't get it to finish. I deleted all that shit and tried again, and it did the same thing... *sigh*

this night effing sucked my A!!! except the part with you guys, that rocked my P.

so...... i take it you're home? Good... pull up a chair and hang the fuck out for a while. And don't give us any of that 'i'm tired' bullshit.. why did your night suck?

it's a long (short) story (sentence) that involves the fact that my friends are dipshits (i am hormonal) but . . . basically after traipsing out to go see a movie with these fucktards, who KNOW i have both a sprained ankle and new tattoo on my foot, they decided to go to a LAME party . . . .maybe. they were going to go to the party and decide from there. so they witnessed my indignant HUFF! and here i am home again.

you're not gonna go all hormonal-like on us, are ya?

no, reserve that for people who love me too much to hold it against me for very long. i have a sober friend . . . he said i was right. sober people have good judgment, cause they're not, you know, drunk and stuff.

So you burnt off their heads with a hormonal huff of flame?

yeah, true.. but they can be pretty damn boring too... well.. glad you're back. we knew you couldn't stay away!

that also is true . . . yes J - but my infernal huffing is a mere poof relatively speaking.

Jess, poofs are better than morning breath.... Theval, is it time to make up again? ..going to go have a smoke...brb.

um... YEAH... duh.. So Jess..... you're a poofer, huh?

i am a delicate, delicate flower. that's 'bout all you need to know.

Then shall we dance to the masocism tango?

finally a dance i know all the steps to!

oooh.. yes please..

Then allow me to set the scene if I may.... Another familiar type of lovesong is the passionate or firy variety, usually in tango tempo, in which the singer exhorts his partner to haunt him and taunt him and, if at all possible, to consume him with a kiss of fire. This particular illustration of this genre is called The Masochism Tango.

sounds hot. i'm in.

All at once or in pieces?

surprise me

Well then, uno momento....

por favor! Jess, whatcha doin? Did ya go pass out in the midst of a wine haze?

I ache for the touch of your lips, Dear, But much more for the touch of your whips, Dear. You can raise welts Like nobody else, As we dance to the Masochism Tango. Let our love be a flame, not an ember, Say it's me that you want to dismember. Blacken my eye, Set fire to my tie, As we dance to the Masochism Tango.....(oh wait, there's more!)

lmao.. I mean.. ahem.... really? there's more? Give it to me..

At your command Before you here I stand, My heart is in my hand. Ecch! It's here that I must be. My heart entreats, Just hear those savage beats, And go put on your cleats And come and trample me. Your heart is hard as stone or mahogany, That's why I'm in such exquisite agony. My soul is on fire, It's aflame with desire, Which is why I perspire When we tango.... (Oh we ain't done yet mama!)

You caught my nose In your left castanet, Love, I can feel the pain yet, Love, Ev'ry time I hear drums. And I envy the rose That you held in your teeth, Love, With the thorns underneath, Love, Sticking into your gums. Your eyes cast a spell that bewitches. The last time I needed twenty stitches To sew up the gash That you made with your lash, As we danced to the Masochism Tango.... (almost there... You know you like it!)

lmfao... keep going...

Bash in my brain, And make me scream with pain, Then kick me once again, And say we'll never part. I know too well I'm underneath your spell, So, Darling, if you smell Something burning, it's my heart. *hiccup!* Excuse me! Take your cigarette from its holder, And burn your initials in my shoulder. Fracture my spine, And swear that you're mine, As we dance to the Maso.......chism Tango!..... ~panting~

~you got your ball, you got your chain tied to me tight, tie me up again....~

*applauds* excellent telling of the tango. great song to end it with, btw... love DMB

The movement into DMB was befitting for the "lighting of the sweaty cigarette" moment....

yup... don't move though.. it's still too hot... you stay over on your side...i'm gonna crank the a/c

Turnin' it down so we can turn it up again, eh? *lol* Don't make me go again!

i think we're good.... but we'll see how i feel in an hour or so. :o) we are soo dirty....

Such bad bad naughty zoots! *lol* =oP

yup!! i wish the freaking messenger things would work....grrrr...

No doubt... we are going to have to atleast give Gabe and the fam a shout out for letting us burn up some latenight oil on here.... We do get a little goofy sometimes.... Have you tried aol anymore?

no... i tried it twice, got pissed off, gave up. HOLLA to GABE for letting us be...um..... J, what's a good term to describe us?

Holly shit!!!! I just found messenger on my computer!!!!!! It says that I need a passport... what the hell is that?! describe us.... thread freaks?

your email is your passport!!! You have a hotmail account, so you're good to go.. plug it in!!

i've added ya on my end....hurry up already....

Mother of Christ!!!!! It is telling me that I can't connect because the service is not responding!!!!! AUF;LASGFHS;FUASB;CUFB;kufcha;asd;~!~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

restart your computer.. it does that to me every now and then.

Okay, I'll be back in a sec.... keep your fingers crossed!

*fingers crossed*

Val, it's still doing the same thing..... God damn this computer shit! I mean seriously! Look at the top of the page! Alice Cooper is pissed, the monkey can't believe it, the bird won't even look at me, Doc Brown is perplexed, the skull is missing teeth, and the koi, well he's just up in arms about the whole thing! .... *Hanging head*

sorry... what kind of connection do you have? Maybe try resetting your modem or something.. I have to reset my router when i can't get on to it.... a troubleshooting guide should have popped up when it said that it couldn't connect......

Fricken medieval dial-up.... one of the many wonderful perks of having to move back into the parental units basement.... every thing I tried on that thing would pop up a new windo but the page you never display.... I don't have a clue.... I am starting to drool on myself from the stupidity....

i sowwy.. i guess just keep trying it at random times... try signing into hotmail, and getting onto it from there...

Hmmmm..... okay, just a sec....

FURNT of FURNTS!!!! I have been damned!!! Dammit darlin'...the only other thing I can think of using is ICQ and I know that would take 30-40 downloading on this bastard..... and that is not so time friendly at the moment.... would you mind trying aol just maybe one more time? Just for shits and giggles. =)

sure babe. i'll try it again..

*sigh* well, this has turned into a long adventure tonight.... (Am I smelling coffee?)

OMG... picking a screen name is getting frustrating@! but at least it's downloaded... mmmm....coffeee......cause i need to stay up for like 6 more hours....

OK!!!! we're good to go!! how do i talk to you?

Oh wow!!!! Something actually worked!!! ... Thank God today is my friday.... I don't think that I will have any trouble catching a few cat naps in the office... any luck with the screen name doll?

send me your screen name... e-mail would be best, don't you think?

yup... it's on it's way...

ha! Now watch this thunderstorm knock out the power!... sit tight and I will contact ya.... then we can put this poor thread to bed!!! =P