Question for parents

I was with at a children’s museum with my son over the weekend and it was a warm day so I was wearing a tank top, I have a tattoo of an angel on my arm that happens to be nude, very tasteful but nude. Anyway another mother came up to me and told me how inappropriate it was for me to have “a tattoo like that exposed” I was shocked I didn’t know what to say. It’s not my style to be confrontational so I just said “I’m sorry I didn’t realize it was offensive”. I was dumbfounded…..that more I think about it the more angry I get…….compared to everything on TV and billboards my tattoo is very tame. Should I have handled that differently? IS it inappropriate?? I felt like a total pushover.

We've had a few discussions on this forum about how to deal with issues like that M, and I think it's sort of split down the middle. I think guys like Taz and myself are in the camp that you can change a lot of blank canvass people's minds about tattooed people just by how you respond, and the sense of class and dignity you display. Like if you walk around looking like "FUCK YOU THIS IS MY TAT, IF YOU DON"T LIKE IT THROW DOWN" which invariably breeds misunderstanding. I think there are a lot of people who are coming around though, like I get way more compliments on my art than sneers, but you still get the occasional mom pulling her kid over to the far side of the grocery isle when you walk by. Now, that being said... I never let anyone insult me, especially people I don't even know without a response. In this case, it sounds like just another hung-up judeo-christian white "do like I do or you are wrong" soccer mom. Where these people get the sense of entitlement that they can say something to like that to somebody the don't even know is beyond me, but I probably would have said something gentle like "Hey, I feel really sorry for you that you feel that the human body is somehow nasty and inappropriate. That really sucks for you. You must be really repressed. (hand her a couple of bucks and say) Here honey, you go get yourself some counseling, okay? Nobody should have to live like that. Good luck with that Darlin'..." That would be my response.... or there's always the old "Oh, Hi! My name's Molly! Nice to meet you! Now GO FUCK YOURSELF before you get killed!"

I'm a parent and I think my daughter would be more disturbed by really gorey, or 'scarey' (really realistic skulls with eyes and such) than a naked angel.. give me a break. That lady needs to get laid. I'm not sure how I would have responded.. probably along the lines of 'I feel bad for your husband or boyfriend'... and walked away! Craig

I still like Ahlyn's Jersey girl response of "Punch that bitch in the ovaries! There is never not a good time for an ovary punch!!". TAz say's to take the high road, and to educate. Easy for him to say, he's been tattooing upwards of 35 years, and has probably been tatted up for nearly as long. Plus, he's an imposing figure, and probably catches less shit than a young lady.....................like me. Anymore, I would likely say something snotty like "Well, ya better get used to it!", or, "I know, God really screwed up when he created us naked!" I'm not a very good ambassador for the art form, I suppose. TCE

Reminds me of the time an elderly couple standing next to me in a stuffy elevator said "Artwork belongs on a wall , not on your body". Talk about uncomfortable. I just smiled and realized how in the dark they were.... Parent to parent, I think "who cares?" In the grand scheme of things; as long as you're a good person, a good mom and you raise a good kid / adult , that's all that matters. As hard as it may be, just laugh it off and let it go. Don't even waste your breath dignifying an ignorant, stone-age comment like that. And, you're right, a "naked angel" is probably a lot tamer than the overt sexual media of today that's shoved down everyone's throat. Don't sweat it, Tima

Tima, that tolerance crap is not going to make you a very good born-again right winger. You'd better suck it up an look at the big picture, or you know what'll happen to you... time is short baby... it's getting hot... (lol)

Also, one more post and you're gonna have to put your pic in the family!! And what about you TCE? We can't even see ya?

Al, I'm already taking up two spaces.......................and I don't even own an SUV...................You can see enough. Go bug Ahlyn. TCE

H8tr! H8tr! H8tr! (lol) Hey Ahlyn!...

Oh yeah, okay, didn't see the space hog... Hm. Nice nose.

It looks better with the nose AND the tongue......................actually a Wild Berry Powerbar, but the chicks like it. TCE

D. Rose~ Yeah, yeah, i know...... just let me enjoy my anonimity while it lasts, k ? :) Tima

I can't wait to go to Hell so I can get away from the right wingers for GOOD!! TCE

LOL !!

Tima...I think that if that old lady had addressed those comments to ME...I would have had to come back with..."Look lady...the bible...you do believe in the bible don't you?...the bible says that your body is a temple....all I'm doin is decoratin the walls...have a nice day!" They never seem to have a comeback for that one!! DAMMITT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...TAz PS wheres yer damn picture?..You are family now girlie!!!

Damn right your body is a temple! I don't know of any religious buildings that don't have art on the wall...how boring would that be! You gotta have something to stare at during the service! Dana Z

I just take a copy of "Guns and Ammo" and "hustler"

lol.....something to stare at so I don't fall asleep during the service :D P.S. pic has been sent to Baker for the Fam. page Tima

As someone whose had tattoos for over 40 years, boy, can I relate to this one, although it has/is changing (slowly and long overdue) Back in the old days we usually gave 'em as shitty or intimadating reply, usually did the trick. But as I got older I started to find a bit more diplomatic approach may sometimes be a wiser choice. at least at first, can always resort to the old way. I've run into some fuckin' assholes over the years, once punched one so hard in the forehead it took EMS 28 minutes to revive his ass. But somehow I figure that perhaps might not reflect to well on the tattoo community. I'd suggest kinda play it by the situation, polite if it's a person asking why you did that to your body to balls out with the best ya got for the assholes who are trying to humiliate you for wearing ART (and I hope it IS ART) for those, I suppose the saying 'If I have to explain it, you probably wouldn't understand' comes to mind. I've long wondered how some of those people can have to gall to come up to a total stranger and even say some of what I've heard. Some would suggest perhaps wearing something that would hide it when you're in public, yeah, guess that's an option, but I happen to know most people are not ashamed but proud of their ART and do not want to hide it, more often, we want to flaunt it (as we should have the right to) Perhaps we, the Tattood should start a reverse tactic, when ya see someone without a tattoo, go up to 'em and ask 'em why- don't ya like 'em, don't ya have the balls, can't ya afford one, too flaky to make an itelligent decision, too pussy whipped, hell the options are unlimited) Would be fun I bet. Fortunately, I have seen a lot of acceptance but I guess there will always be the assholes (and our stupid laws prohit ya from shooting 'em, damn lawmakers) Again, I'd say deal with it as the situation calls for it, I don't think there's any one answer (and I'm sorry ya had to deal with it, I've known some damn good people who've had to deal with that bs) AS to even the aspect of your angel being nude, don't these prudes realize the nude body has been a part of art as long as there's been art (I assume the gentilia is NOT visible) How's that for class? Sad fact, some folks are incurable assholes, ya just gotta learn how to deal with 'em...Do

As I have said before (when TCE was insulted by that woman) In the past I would have gotten seriously nasty with the sort of people who would spout off denigrating remarks to a total stranger....and I am not talkin about a few little curse words either!....I would have made it a point to belittle these indiscriminate loud and continuous and make such a scene that the person would certainly think twice before ever spouting off again....and that worked for me....Alas that TAz is no longer with us...I am a kinder, gentler TAz these days....I try my best to keep in my mind that I am representing all the "colored" people of the world and endeavor to put forth my best and most polite self....anything else and you are just reinforcing the bigotry they hold so dear....I have been known to actually make not only a good impression but sometimes even to make a friend...Christ!...If I would heard myself sayin this stuff a few short years ago I would have blown my own brains out for bein a sellout! But you cannot noway nohow change a negative attitude WITH a negative attitude....Only with a positive outlook ans attitude can we ever change the stereotypical perceptions of the public at large. So now I just put on my best "hey I'm really a nice guy" face and put forth a tremendous amount of effort intoleaving them with a smile on their face and a somewhat different perception of tattooed people...make no mistake even though I appear to be the stereotypical drug crazed psychotic biker serial killer...I can be a charming sonuvabitch when I wanna be...which ain't all that often...it hurts! kill em with Kindness my granpa always said.....he was full of shit too!...See ya!!...TAz

Did someone summon me or something? Heh, I'm not a parent, I don't like children, and I never plan to have one burst its way out of my body in the most painful orgy of blood and sacs and stuff ever. Anyway, I wouldn't have punched her in the ovaries, in reality I would have just said "Go away please." And turned my back, that usually does it, I'm all about making people realize they're assholes, while my non-asshole identity stays intact. People are going to be freaked out about anything. I usually have ten reasons why people hate me, the top most is usually something to do with my white fiance and the non-white nature of my skin. This upsets many people, they usually carry spare white bed sheets around too. Anyway I guess what I'm saying is be more assertive next time, just, not in an assertive asshole way. Turning your back to them is usually the best idea. Of course if they are physically threatening you, feel free to to shiv them, or scream for the authorities or what have you. You're a mom, you've got that leopardess thing about your kids anyway, I don't have to tell you. On yet another hand (I have five now I think) every single person that has seen my tattoo has been happily amazed, judeo-christian or not. These people are normal, they like pretty things. What you were dealing with is a crazy person, much like normal people, they know no cultural or religious bounds. So maybe something like a small laugh and then "Lady, you're crazy," would be pretty good too or, "Perhaps you are developmentally disabled, you see madam, you happen to be in a publicly funded institution that houses many nude sculptures and drawings, they have audio tours for a person such as yourself." Yeah, like that.

See now Doc....................that's why we want ya to hang around!!!!!!LOL!!!!!!!!!!! TCE

Awesome comments Doc! I never asked someone why they don't have one, and never looked at it that way.... Thanks for the enlightment and perspective skew :) Tima

Ok I am only gonna say this ONCE... Doc...glad to have you back you old fart and YOU WILL COME TO TAzfest!! Don't make us come and look you up!! Old fart! and I still want a smooch!...Maybe if I get ya drunk enough?

You're quite welcome Tima, glad to help. Now practice up your various responses. Instead of allowing it to piss you off you can turn it into something YOU can have fun with. And why was it no one noticed my 'reverse tactics' idea, frankly I bet that would sure change things. I've done it a few times and the responses are surprizing. TCE and Taz, it's good to be back and, of course, circumstances allowing. I'll be a the Tazfest but ya still ain't gettin a kiss and since I don't drink, ya can't even get me loose with booze, 'sides that I ain't EASY (anymore)...Doc

And I'll play paparazzi!!!!! TCE

Ahlyn, Yeah, well not ALL of us have been so fortuitous to have been tattooed by ... ............, so every once in a while some wise acre calls us out on our shit, and being insecure, we're dumbfounded! Now on the other 6th hand, I'd have to agree with you on the child thing................................Yuck!!!!!!! I don't want any part of that, EVER! I don't want to be responsible for another human's body being invaded by an alien being, stretched all out of whack, the acne and hemorrhoids. Maybe they won't remember it, but I WILL! Maintaining a low sperm count and abstinence is the key. TCE

Thanks for all your comments. I have always taken the ‘turn the other cheek’ philosophy and I will probably continue to take that approach. The woman who was so bold as to make a comment to a complete stranger is probably a generally unhappy person anyway. Doc, yes my angel is very tasteful. I had it done by a custom artist, he was young but very good. Your wise words are helpful, I would rather show class by responding politely then freaking out like a crazy person. TCE “stretched all out of whack” What are you talking about???! I’m in better shape after my son then I was before. Not all mothers get stretched all out of whack! For you I might rethink my ‘turn the other cheek’ philosophy and when I see you at Tazfest I will throw you to the ground and smash your larynx with my bad ass boots to show you what a real mother can do! :) Molly Mauler

Yay! *Raiden Voice* Finish him. On the other hand (seven I guess) it doesn't matter who tattooed me, I'm confident because the tattoo is good, not anything else than that. Molly seems quite the same way.

deirdre, yes indeed. I do love my tattoo. I just need a bit more moxy to deal with 'those people' better. :) I'm glad you liked my 'fatality' :)

Molly, All I said is that I don't want to be responsible for it; good, bad, or indifferent. TCE

D...What do you mean it doesn't matter who tattooed you?...Of course it does...you are one of the lucky ones...Guy is PHENOMINAL!!!...God D I cannot tell you just how cool and tasteful that tattoo is!..anyway you have a great 4th dear!!...TAz

Deidre, 'faid I too must take exception on that comment, as the artist that does THAT Tattoo is crucially important. I think I know what you probably meant, let me take this opportunity to try to make people think about just who you have do that tattoo. You could have ten different 'artist' copy the same picture, get ten different renditions, some good, perhaps some even better than the original and then there's the other side, the one's you want to ask 'what the fuck picture were YOU looking at?' I've used that anology for years, it usually gets the point over. If ya think about it, maybe it's the stupid, shittily done tattoos that gets some of these people going in the first place? Personally, as an Artist, I too get pissed, offended, want to ask 'why?' when I see some of the shitty work I see almost every time I go anywhere (above and beyond the crap I get clients into my studio trying to get fixed some of which is FUBAR) If the 'Guy' being refered to is the 'Guy'I think you're refering to is (Guy A perhaps?)then, be greatful you got work by a dedicated and Gifted Artist, not nearly are so many that fortunate. Sorry to lecture, but again, choosing the right ARTIST is important. Have a great and safe 4th...Doc

OK ...Yes Ds' artist is Guy Aitchison....it ain't a secret fellas!!.. Doc as usual you are right on the money! Have a Safe and happy 4th...I am gonna go experiment with this dynamite I sto....ummmm..."acquired!"...Anybody know what happens when ya light a stick of dyno and its taped to a propane tank thats 1/2 full? I am gonna find out! News at 11! If I can run fast enough!!! its ok ...we have 911 on speed dial

You children H8trs just don't get it!! But ya will! Someday when you least expect it! And then the little fucker will completelyl mess up your life... for the better. I know, I know, just keep talkin' you'll see... the baby think only lasts for a very short time, and I've seen a whole lotta SMOKIN' hot moms!

We can't all love kids...We can't all love tattoos...I too was a person who vehemently denied any desire to father children...my opinion was that I was far too good at fucking up my own life and did not want to be responsible for screwing up a childs...then came Natassja....june 11, 1980...WOW!...I went into that delivery room just knowing that I should run away...I couldn't be a dad!...Then it started...she came into my life with her eyes open...I couldn't BREATHE!...It was love at first sight times a million!...Life as I knew it was over..."SHE" was here! Nothing and I mean NOTHING has ever impacted as positively as the birth of my kids... Some of you...Al ,Molly, Bee will understand..some of you won't and thats ok... Like Tattoos , children are not for everyone and for the people who don't want kids...I ain't mad at ya!!...I don't understand you but then again I don't need to understand ...thats YOUR business not mine and I have to respect that...much better in my opinion to KNOW that ya don't want kids than to have kids and not be able to be the parent you should be.....TAz

Well said on that, Taz as we say, been there, done that...Among ALL the many things I've done in my long and rather interesting life, none of it ranks anywhere as high as being in that delivery room when your child is born, I helped deliver my youngest (now 10 yrs. old)and that is undoubtedly the best feeling I've EVER experienced. I too respect peoples choice and it's not like we're short on people....Doc

Thank you Doc, I'm not so egotistical to need a replica of myself running around, so I've taken the necessary measures to ensure that it NEVER happens. Anyway, att this age, I would be starting out as a grandparent to my firstborn, no thanks. TCE

And TAz, It doesn't matter if you understand where I'm coming from, because I completely understand where YOU'RE coming from........I don't want to love anything in this world as you've described. I'm sure I'm capable of it, I just don't want it. Sometimes, things don't follow the natural order, and I can't imagine anything worse than a parent losing a child.................................and that ain't gonna be ME if it can be avoided. TCE

Yes, Guy Aitchison tattoos me, yes, I am a lucky lucky lucky motherfucker. You have no fucking clue how much luck I used up in all of this tattoo stuff in the past year or so. Does it matter that it was him? Yes, of course, but really, I don't like to talk about it too much because there's no real reason why it happened to me, and no reason why I should be show-offy and whatnot. When someone makes a snap judgement about my tattoo, they don't know who did it, and some of them don't even know who Guy Aitchison is. I'm proud of my tattoo because it's beautiful and well done, and really just makes me look thousands of times better than before. That's before anything about Guy, and if I was to be so bold, I think he would rather have me be proud of it in that way first, rather than just be proud that it was him who did it. I'm also proud because it's fucking huge, on my ribs and it was my first tattoo, so I get to pretend I'm a badass. Anyway, I just don't like talking about it like that (as in, this is a Guy Aitchison tattoo, so shut the fuck up), it makes me sound like an ass, and I prefer other people not to talk about it in that way either, and the easiest way to avoid all of that is to just not mention who was the artist (unless you ask, and then I'll happily gush). It's strange, I know, but, I value some secretiveness about me. So...yes, it does matter, but uh, I don't like to talk about it.

Al, I agree there are a whole lot of smokin' mom's, i.e., mamacat, Saiyge...........................but they are mom's, and I'm not daddy material. TCE

D... Shaddup!!

I probably would have responded in the same way. I'm extremely non-confrontational. However... I would have thought up a gazillion other ways to respond and would be chomping at the bit that I diddnt use -those- responses instead. Either way, I think responding the way you did is the best bet, only because mouthing off at someone, especially with your children there, would have had reprocussions. At least you can rest easy knowing you took the high road. For some people, taking the calmer route and ending it right there, is extremely difficult.

TCE...Tim...I DO understand and I applaud you for making the choice to PREVENT a child rather than to somehow abandon a child or not be able to realize the full potential of being a parent...Some people are just hardwired that way and there is nothing wrong with it!!! I still love ya even if you won't have my babies!!...T

TAz, Thank you, thank you very much!!! Thanks for 'getting' it. It's not a matter of not believing that a child can melt your heart, it's quite the opposite. But I am selfish, and don't want to divide up what I have of each commodity to permanently accommodate another person. That's the bottom line. TCE

Ahlyn, You're quite the modest ball breaker, aren't you? TCE

tce & taz- i think i can see where you're both coming from. i always swore that i would NEVER have children. i was perfectly ok with being everyone's favorite love-aunt -- spoil the child and when they misbehave give em back to their mama. hell, i'll be honest, i was so damn careful, that i still don't know how all this science 'failed' me. BUT now that i'm about to be a mom, i'm looking forward to it, (whew, it's almost over). I'm looking forward to all the mini-adventures, and even scraped knees. However, if she starts to dress/behave like a prostitat i might have to lock her in a room. i mean... i'm not heavily tattoo'd or pierced.. and i still get inappropriate comments. for example -- my aunt fears the art will be a bad influence and offered to pay to have my tattoo removed. i've had neighbors ask me how will i explain to my child that she needs to behave and be good when i've "such a nasty thing" as a tattoo on my arm? normally i behave, and just smile and shrug... as for the ones that make the mistake of opening their mouths when i'm hormonal, well, i THINK they're accepting donations in lieu of flowers. ;) (oh, and btw, the offensive art on my arm is two giraffes -- rubbing noses. how obscene!). i didn't realize that other parents/moms were getting these reactions, i honestly thought it was just because of where i'm living now. surrounded by retired senior citizens, the majority of which are from canada and farming communities - i just figured they were uneducated/set in their ways. ;) definately not awake yet over here, apologize for the babbling. :)

Hey, Bee I was the same as you, I was always happy being the Aunt but apparently my path was to be a little different :) I’m very happy for you! When my son smiled at me the first time it made me cry, it was the coolest thing I have ever experienced! Not to be a dork but if you want any advice feel free to email me at [email removed]

morning Molly! chances are you'll be getting an email (or 50) from me in the future. i still have some time yet, but Samira will be making her debut at the end of next month. :)

Samira is an awesome name! I remember the last two weeks before my son was born I was so done being pregnant! Nothing fit and I was so tired of people asking how I was doing, it was like how do you think I’m doing?! I’m tired sick and huge! :) Molly

This is great. Warms my heart. See? It's all good. TCE I completely understand and give you huge props for knowing yourself. It's a good thing, and I heavily applaud you for it. Plus, I just like ya in general. You seem like a decent person. Funny though, something you said in a few posts back makes my think that if GOD FORBID, some day, some kid needed a dad, or a role model, or some help, unfortunately for you, my friend have the right stuff I think. Ya just never know... Ya just never know. Life is funny...

Al, Back in 2000, I had a girlfriend who moved in with her 1 year old daughter. We were only together for 4 months because the stress was too much for me, in addition to a few other things (huh huh). By the end of the first month, I felt like my life was over. In addition to my house always being a mess, I was working nights, coming home at 6:00 AM, and then baby sitting while this chick went to school during the day. THEN, because I wanted to spend some time with her when she came home late in the afternoon, I ended up NEVER sleeping. I realized that that was pretty much what parenting entailed, with a lot of added bullshit that I never had to deal with, but by the end of the 4 months, I swore off children for good...................And I've slept great ever since. TCE

TCE~ Good thing you cut that relationship off... not just for your sake, but for the 1 year old caught up in the mix. ~Tima

Kids ARE not for everyone and I totally respect a persons firm choice in deciding not to have them. I'ma mama at heart be it lost puppies, birds that fall out of nests, etc.. AND TCE you can always be some mama's "Mac daddy" xo

Tima,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I'd hate to see the issues that poor child is dealing these days, I guess she'd be 8 by now............................her mother was a NUT!!!!!!! Mamacat, you got that right...................I'm real good at the Mac Daddy thang, as long as there are no strings...... TCE

..............I've already gone through all the TattooNOW family women at least twice since Baker had the stroke of genius to create the site...................I may have to start playing Mac Daddy to the men next, unless we get some new pics. Mamacat's current one is really cute, that one has to stay! TCE

.....and that is why I'm never posting my picture.

Ahlyn, I don't make monkey's, I just spank 'em!! TCE

Thats ok D we have plenty without yours!!!

Yeah, so neener, neener, neeeeeeeeeeeener!!!!!!!!!!

somebody STOP me! Just can't help myself. Here's more of the kitten!

That is AWESOME! Love it, love it, love it!

Looks like Cyndi Lauper.....................or Axle Rose!

mamacat is just trying to endear herself to us......................and it's working!

Thats my Mia catt...Smooches!!!...Uncle Taz!