Respect?

Roughly two weeks ago I had some more work started on my left sleeve. I had two angels, one falling, the other ascending, and between the two, a baby (fetus) in a womb. This, to me is the most meaningful of all the artwork I have on me to this point. Not even 30 minutes after calling it a day on my arm a person approached me, looked at my arm and said, "Wow, into fetus's are we? Not on the top ten list of things I would put on my body. After all, look at it, it's a fetus...." Three days later at my job a co-worker walks over to me, noticing that I had some new work done, lifts up my sleeve and without missing a breath blurts out, infront of 5 other people I work with, "Jason, what is this crap you have on your arm now?" Did I even get a "hey that's beautiful", "what's this mean?", "that's amazing!", "Why did you have this done?", .... No, I got "what's that crap?" And when I look them straight in the eyes and tell them that my ex had a miscarraige and the baby would have been my first born and this is the only way I will ever get to hold my baby. That the falling angel represents my saddness and loss, and the other angel is it's guardian in heaven until I get there; there tongues begin back pedaling with "sorry" and "oh, I didn't know." I believe, if memory serves, that it was TCE that brought up the story of the elderly woman making the comment about the work he had done on his calves, (which Taz has shown me by the way and it is damn sweet!). I don't know... It just blows my God Damn mind! It just seems so disrepectful to me. I don't walk up to someone who is married and say to them, "I don't know why you're bothering wearing that ring. You husband/wife is probably fucking someone else right now." I am by no means an Old Timer but I sure the hell wasn't taken out of the Cabbage Patch yesterday either. I am just curious to find out what happened to RESPECT?

people are assholes..........but at least you get to enjoy the look on their face when you tell them the real meaning......

That has to be one of the most beautiful things I"ve ever heard J. Made me want to give you and yours a giant hug from over here in NY. Damn, people f*cking suck. :( Just... Damn.

J, You'll have to realize that if you've got art (GOT ART???????), you've been reduced to a second rate citizen in the minds of some people. That woman I had the run in with has not been the average response by a long shot. Most people, even older ones, simply stare in curiousity. I can sense a lot of them looking over their shoulders when I walk past them in the mall, supermarket, etc. Some actually want to ask questions, but the vibe is usually positive. In fact, I never had this much fun when I got my first tattoos at 22 twenty years ago! Whereas I had second thoughts after seeing the enormous amount of black ink on my foot and ankle after the first outline was done, things are finally starting to take shape now, and nobody ever checked out the stuff on my arms as frequently as they look at this. I have be honest, even being a collector, if I saw what you described on your arm for the first time, I wouldn't know what to make of it. But I suppose the difference is knowing that anyone with a sizeable piece, or something so unique, didn't just walk into the local studio and say "Gimme a sleeve!" without any thought to what it would entail. I would assume that it was something personal. I still wish I hadn't responded the way that I did to that one negative incident, because I wasn't being a very good Ambassador for the artform. TAz made some very good suggestions on that other topic forum, and I'm trying to keep those in the back of my mind in case it ever happens again. Thanks for the compliments on my work in progress, or as Neil Peart once put it, Jerk in Progress. That's one more for my positive experience list! Take care man TCE

It isn't so much people looking or what they may be thinking to themselves. That I could care less about. It is when they blurt out some assmonger remark that makes me....shellshocked. It's not that I am embarrassed, or ashamed, it just blows my mind that peoples' mouth's tend to override the ass at the worst of times and if I didn't take the three seconds to collect myself and think, the first thing out of my mouth would without a doubt be, "LOOK HERE MOTHER FUCKER...!" It's obvious to me now that I never really paid much attention to things like that before I started getting tattooed. And being that I never was bias to it one way or the other I didn't bother worrying about it. I guess it is just a rude wake up call from the world telling you, "Hey, good morning stupid! People can suck!"

Jwerk, the ink we put on you is very special....you know and we know what it means so anyone else is just irrelevant...I have people comin up to me I don't even know sayin" Oh wow! That stuff you put on that guys arms is soooo cool!" I can't wait til its done so we can show everyone the finale!...No folks...Ya just gotta wait! Be patient! Ya just gotta get used to the stares and stupid comments...especially since you live here in the middle of the kingdom of dumb! Ya gotta admit this area is not known for its art appreciation or sophistication. So quit yer fuggin whinin and get back to your pencil!...By the way ya did a GREAT job on this weeks drawing project....Now do it AGAIN!!...BACKWARDS>>>WITH YER TOES!!!! And quit wipin boogers on the back of the bristol board!

ya, dont sweat it J-werk. the public will always be afraid of tattooed people, and you will always hear odd comments and whispers. FUCK EM! Im sure the work you got is quality, and as long as you are happy with it, then who cares what opinion others have of you or the art you have chosen to adorn. Mortis

Ok, I’m going to come at this from a slightly different angle. This is a general statement about the issue in general and when I use “You” I mean a generic ‘you’, not you specifically. First, if you get a tattoo that can be viewed by the public, even partially, I think you have to accept that the reactions are going to be as varied as “the great unwashed” itself. If you care about/or might get bent out of shape by other peoples reactions then maybe you shouldn’t get work in places viewable by the public. The emotionally charged elements removed for a moment, Getting pissed at peoples reactions to an exposed tattoo seems, to me, on the surface, a lot like the punk with a safety pin through the nose snarling “WTF ARE YOU STARING AT???” Hypocritical at worst and over sensitive at best. The other option, if you want to share, is to explain first, then show. “I just got a tattoo that depicts my feelings about my wife’s miscarriage…here it is…” Anything less than that may not get you the supportive response you seek or expect, or improve the general populations impression of those bearing tattoos since the occasional poor opinionated s.o.b is gonna feel ‘set up’ and guilty/resentful by the interaction. Many people apparently just walk in off the street and point to some flash and get a tattoo to get a tattoo…How is anyone going to know how meaningful your particular tattoo is more that ‘decoration’ to you if they are not first ‘pre-warned’. For those ‘poor SOB’s’ out there who are 'visually assaulted' or ‘ambushed’ by tattooed individuals, if you like it, say so. If you are specifically asked for your opinion and you don’t like it, be as careful as if your spouse asks, “Do I look fat in this dress?” Before commenting, say something like “Wow, does it represent something to you?” Based upon the answer you can decide where to go from there…Asking “where did you have it done?” is another good one whether you like it or not, because if it is beautiful to you, you now know where recommend a great tattoo, and if it is horrible, you know where not to recommend one. Also, If they say “my friend did it in his basement” you can raise the issues of health and safety, without directly making them feel rotten about the ‘piece of crap’ they now proudly sport on their arm… There is responsibility on both sides of this “transaction” but bottom line is that tattoos are generally perceived as an art form/form of expression., and when it comes to art, you can choose your art, but you cannot choose how people will respond to it. People who perceive tattoos as simply another form of art or self expression (and there are a lot of those) will often feel free to respond and express themselves in return...Emotional baggage aside, that's the kind of 'freedom of expression' society I think we try to protect/promote... Choose to expose your tattoos accordingly… All this being said, I would not be one of the types who would just blurt out an unsolicited opinion on a tattoo.

Which is exactly why I raised the question of, "What happened to RESPECT?" I know what I am writing has been discussed a thousand different times, a thousand different ways. I guess being a newbie to the "Ink Tribe" it's just something you have to get use to and accept that is going to happen.... But even that sounds fucked up. I think all I am doing now is arguing with myself.... I guess the irony of the situation for me is that I get a lot of "Dude! That is fucking awesome!" about the black and grey bio-mech on my right arm. Funny, there is nothing bright and happy about it. But when it comes to the angels and the baby I have on my other arm I get, "What's that crap?".... *melancholy, shaking head, and throwing hands up in the air in frustration.*

Like I said, Respect is a two way street, People get to voice their opinion on art that crosses their visual field. It's called freedom for. That the art happens to be on your body and happens to mean something to you doesn't mean they have to mute that opinion, or express an opinion that you want to hear. For you to demand as much from them means you are not respecting their right to express their opinion. Don't want to hear random unsolicited opinions on your tat? Don't expose your tat, unsolicited, to random people. I don't see negative comments on a tattoo as disrespectful, at least no more disrespectful than saying that people have no right to voice their opinion, no matter how crass or uneducated that opinion might be.

Caribou, I understand your point that people have a freedom to comment. I am not arguing that or implying that people should keep their mouths shut if they aren't going to say anything nice. Shit, if we did that the "Ed Zachery" epidemic would be cured! I guess that it would fair for me to say that I have been naieve in my thinking that people these days are more open and accepting than they were decades ago. And, in thinking that this particular tattoo has the most meaning to me, naturally I am prone to be a bit more defensive to stupidily placed comments.... The whole experience of being tattooed has really opened my eyes to the way I look at things around me now. I guess everyone here can relate to that in some way.

Caribou, Your take on this is actually pretty much on the mark.............I don't know how J-werks feels about it, but for myself it reflects what I was thinking in the days following my own incident. The woman I dealt with was well within her right to voice her opinion, and she wasn't speaking directly to me, so I don't know if I even had a right to say anything back to her. I suppose the reason it upset me at the time was because I was still acclimating to a major change in the way part of my body looked. Even though it was my decision to do it, this was a lot more emotionally distressing than the first three tattoos I acquired; with reckless abandon over the course of a month when I was 22. I don't know how to explain it, because this was a well thought out plan, and this is another aspect of tattooing that people should be made more aware of. THIS IS FOREVER!!!!!!!!!! I love my new pieces now, but at that particular time I was still unsettled with the decision I made, and I just didn't want to hear it compounded by someone I didn't even know. Thanks for your insight, I hope that J will take it to heart just as I have. TCE

TCE...That woman may have been within her right to voice her opinion but she was still extremely rude...I won't make excuses for her.And since she made her comments within your earshot I do believe you had every right to reply....she invited a reply! No tattoos and body mods are not as universally accepted as we may think, and not just here in the "bible belt" of the midwest either. There will always be rude people who will have a rude uneducated comment..."God!, how did she let herself get so fat?"...."Did you see those HORRIBLE tattoos on that guy?"or "why any man would wear an earring is beyond me!" Fuck em!

While people have the right to think whatever they want about whatever they want...haven't you guys every heard of "if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

That's just a file thirteen cliche' these days.

it works for me. And, i'd rather have somone be like "oh...that's....nice" than "OMG WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!"

Like I said, you have the right to decide what tattoo you will carry and whether or not it will be visible to others. That, and the decision to not be bothered by the reactions of others is all you have. If you have offended someones eye with your art why should they not be free to return "the favor" and voice their own displeasure? If these 'trash talking' people can be condemed for the simple expression of their views, Shouldn't it be equally ok to condem someone for wearing a visible tattoo that someone else might find 'trashy'? But it isn't ok is it? We don't give and take away something as precious as freedoms of expression based on an individuals hurt feelings, even if that person happens to be you...When someone gets fired because of their tattoo we protest and yell "bullshit!", and rightly so.. I'm only defending the other side of the same coin here. It is a slippery slope...The freedom to not feel insulted or hurt by thoughtless comments is controlled by ones own reaction to such comments, it is a freedom that cannot come from an external source.