Should you cover up old names of lovers if you want to add the name of the new lover?

My boyfriend soon to be husband wants us to get tattoos with each others name. I do have a tattoo but it has no name attached to it. I feel uncomfortable with this because he has the names of his ex-girlfriend and wife. If it were me I would cover up their names before adding his. I don't want to feel like I am joining the group list or something. Give me some feed back please.

Tatt, Not to sound like a sacrastic prick but if the man already has names of ex's on him.... well common sense would say that getting each other's names is not such a great idea. Not saying anything about him, but look at the big picture.... should shit hit the fan do you want something to remind him of you for the rest of your life? Remember, when getting a tattoo, you do get one with the idea that you may want to cover it up someday.... I am rambling, beer does that.... I'll try again in the morning.

correction... You do NOT get a tattoo with the intentions of covering it up.... now, back to your regularly schedualed posting....

Bad idea- period....

I also think/know it's not a good idea. I've been tattooing for over 40 years and can tell ya from expeirience names are the most regretted tattoos, which it seems your bf should already realize. If you feel uncomfortable about doing it, DON'T do it...Doc

Just look at the names he already has...do you want to be one of them?...and by the same token do ya really want his name on you forever? Bad Idea...RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON"T DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god i can totally imagine this guy getting lines through the exgirlfriends name and then getting a new girlfriends name right under it. thats pretty weird when you think about it. that he just keeps adding names without getting the previous ones covered up. its like hes keeping score. just tell him to start getting tally marks. those are easier

ok that wasnt called for. i just feel for you. i have a name tattoooed on me that i still need to get covered up. names are boring tattoos too. id say get a design made up for guys. that way it'll always be something you can enjoy

Names on body = Bad ju-ju

hey, my husband got my name on his hip not long after we met (his choice and he surprised me with it) but even now after 16 years of marriage, i wont put his name on me....every now and again, he brings it up but i'm a firm believer in the no-name-on-my-skin policy...several years ago we did go together and get tribal tattoos at the upper back that are mirror images of each other...that was pretty cool tho i admit to wishing it had more color now but no regrets

just have his baby. that lasts around 18 years. tattoos never go off to college.

No!!!...It might turn out to be an internet troll like koochie snore!! Then you'd have to kill it!

I'm a firm believer in the no-name policy also. Both of my arms are fully sleeved and when we got engaged I got a hand tattoo of a nautical star with a heart in the middle of it. The heart in the middle is the one she puts at the end of all of her notes to me. It's a very original heart that she draws all the time and I'm very happy with it and she just thinks it's the best thing since sliced bread!!! Everyone says I look kinda weird with that small heart on my hand where everyone can see it, but I just tell them I'm the softest biker they know and afraid to admit it!!!! What can I say, we all fall in love sometime, like it or not!!!!!

not afraid to admit it i meant DAMMMMMMIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! Just re-read the subject title, and think about what you posted... * that was the sound of my head exploding.

Yup, sounds like a collector...............of names, or notches.

So Tim does that mean you changed your mind about getting my name on yer butt???

killing babies is wrong Taz

I am a firm believer that any woman who would get involved with a guy who has laundry list of his ex's names tattooed on him deserves whatever she gets. And he wants his name on you? I know I'm just feeling bitter this weekend, but Christ on a fucking crutch ladies, there are so many good guys out there... oh yeah, they may not necessarily be "PERFECT" but why the hell do chicks bother with men like this?? I'll tell you why. So they can bitch about it after they get dumped by them later. Whatever. If I were you, I'd go find a real guy. This is same as notching a bedpost.

Personally, i have a no-word policy on permanent ink, but that's just me. The bloke sounds like a bad bargain, and all the poster's doubts are worthy. I'm with everybody - RUN! theval - "bad ju-ju"? Are you making fun of my religion? (grin)

well taz i guess i have to pic at you a little bit, i have my ex fiances name tattooed on my thigh. its been there for over three years now, we broke up about two years ago. i have decided that i will never get it covered up because i guess maybe that i learned a valuable lesson from that woman. and i dont think i will be able to have feelings for another woman like i did for her. ON THE OTHER HAND, some dude that has rows of womans names on him looks more to me like hes keeping scores not loves. my advice is to follow your heart on this one (FUCK YOU ALL, I KNOW IT SOUNDS CORNY!) p.s. taz i got that bitch to finally send me all my records back. lol.

Hey guys, thanks for the replies! Some of them made me laugh so hard! You guys make a good point. The tattoos he got where many years ago and I know I have a good guy. I think I will get a symbol that reminds me of him and our relationship and skip the direct names. I don't feel like a notch on his bed post or body, but rather special because of the way he treats me. And yes I do love him. As for Daddy Rose, man you sound angry and it sounds like you haven't had a woman who loved or even wanted you enough lately to even consider doing this for you. You may want to get a therapist for these issues. You sound like you have a lot of dispalced anger/ rejection.

*crickets chirping*.....

Sir JWerk, so how is the beer treating you?

It's leaving me high and dry at the moment but I am only at work for another hour and the that will all change. I had a few go'rounds with it and jim and crown this weekend. I'm still a bit roughed up but i gave'er hell....

You figured this out on your own Tatt? Congratulations sweetie! You are not only lucky and blessed, but insigtful too! You can't take all the credit though since it was I that told you I was feeling a bit bitter the other night. I will take your advice however and see if I can get some counseling about this, considering I am a hell of a decent guy, and I deserve better than the current situation I've chosen for myself. Hey with a little therapy and a good support group, maybe someday, if I'm lucky.... maybe I'll be you! But alas, I have chosen my situation for myself, and for the love of my little daughters, so really no complaining to be done here. I have two little girls who's lives are more important than my own, and any poor choices I may have made picking a partner. That's the choice I made, and wouldn't go back on it even if I could. So, I may take a moment to feel bitter, but I don't spend more than 30 seconds feeling sorry for myself. Don't get the wrong impression about me. So I say, go for it. Put his name on you somewhere, or better yet, put something really special that will remind you of him always. I still think that's a bad idea for countless reasons, but hell, it's your bod! Or, er, his... so do whatever you want. But if you didn't want a variety of opinions, what the hell did you post the question for? Just do me a favor, and every other guy out there... if it doesn't go the way you hope forever, (I know. You kids are different. But just play with me here for a minute) don't be one of those women who bitch about it. It's your choice. Cheers! I stand by my guns. I still think it's a bad idea, but I honestly do wish you the best.

Oh wow, I guess I need to post more often, as I lurk daily, but tonight I must be in my advice giving mood. I like Daddy Rose am a bitter man, why, well my heart was broken:-) and I so badly want to get a stone heart with a inscription of "break this one Bitch" but What is stopping me, the fact that I may find someone who I truly care about that also cares about me, It would be a shame for her to have to look at my bitter and anger tattoo that I got over another girl, even if I spent 19 years with her. Anyway, Nice guy's are out there not notching thier bedpost, I know you have found that true person, but in reality has he? names bad idea! nuff said. Blacktri

Wait, Wait, Blacktri... I like ya man, but I'm not a COMPLETELY bitter man, I just have moments of bitterness. I am a human being you know. Nobody's perfect. Like I said, fortunately, they don't last more than about 30 seconds. Say... it that's true, maybe I don't need Tatt's therapy suggestion since if I just wait it out, I'll be over it in like 2 minutes!

Al, LOL My bitterness only last about 60 seconds. or a good cold beer. You know I am happier than when I was married so that must mean something:-) Blacktri

Well let me begin with Daddy Rose. Look dude, I have a lot to say to you. One I understand about being with someone and it feels like you are in a freeze- pop. The things that make you bitter make you angry. If your not careful then hate sits in and once that magic puppy is there it alters your personality which you probably lost in the midst of your hurt and disappointment. I too once stayed for the kids and felt the same as you did! I understand that and think for the wrong method it is noble with the right reasons. I am not telling you to do this but sharing my "variety of opinion." One day I realized as I stayed for the kids that I was teaching my children how to have a fucked up relationship so everyone could be in the same house! THat hit me like a ton of bricks. I did not teach them how to smile and be happy when you have nothing or when things go wrong b/c I had a very bad partner (for me)! I could not show them how to be affectionate b/c that was also gone. SO how could I show them how to treat and be treated, it was not in that household. I was bitter and angry and felt life freeze me out as it past by. I got out because I would rather be a happy mom and woman than bitter! If you can use any of this take it. If not spit it out like bones in a fish. As for the opinions, of course I wanted them, why else post. They all were took with insight. You have already complained too late to take that one back. I wish you luck as well.

Ok Blacktri99, well I will say this, whatever she did to you it hurt you that is plain to see. Just because she hurt you does not mean she has to win. If you allow her to make you damage goods for the next woman she won. As I posted about the bad partner after he took everything and tore it to pieces, I was left with the best thing I could walk away with from that relationship... myself! I refused to allow him to make me be so hurt and bitter that I COULD NOT GO ON WITH MY LIFE AND SMILE AND HAVE JOY. If the other person prevents you from allowing yourself to love someone and be loved then they just won. I don't see anyone worth winning over me like that! You should not either! As for the next girl, well she will want you and your heart not your luggage. Dude take the trash out from that relationship so it does not stink up the new one. As for my dude, yes he knows he has a wonderful woman and is very well pleased with how he is treated.

Tatt, I appriciate your words, believe me when I say, "I am over her" Yes there was hurt, but it is long passed, and someone will get a great dude:-) My smile has returned and my fun loving nature has returned. So now it is time for the second half of myu life! Blacktri

Uh, Tatt, here's the deal. Some of what you said has some real solid truth to it. In fact, you sort of answered your own question... know what I mean? Look how your situation changed... you sound like you are much better off and in a better place... which is great. But let's just say for the sake of arguement that you had tattooed the other guy's "College Mascot" or whatever on you, now you would have a constant reminder of the "Hell" it sounds like you apparently lived through, which I'm sure in the beginning did not seem like hell to you... Things changed. Same with this. Great guy. Okay. So, you tattoo something really personal to remind you of him all the time on you, you get married, everything goes great forever, the end. Or else it doesn't. If it doesn't, then again, you are stuck with the same problem as a name... A permanent reminder of something that you thought was going to be the be all end all. So maybe it will turn out to be the be all end all. I hope so. You deserve it after what you've been through. But I'll stand by my advice, wether I've made a poor relationship choice or not (by the way, in fairness to my wife, it's not nearly as bad as what you apparently went through. I just feel a little self pitying because we don't synch up much anymore and I've not made the decision yet that I deserve better than this. Maybe I will, Maybe not. Time will tell... but I'll be out LONG before I get to the point it sounds like you got to. Especially with your kids. I'll take that piece of advice for sure...) which is, relationships often change. Often, often. Your kids will always be your kids. You'll always be Scottish or whatever. You'll always be female. But Dungeons and Dragons won't be cool forever, and relationships change. Something to think about... or not... whatever the case may be. Sounds romantic though. Now, if you are the kind of person who collects tats to remind them of experiences good and bad, this is all moot of course. But you yourself have got the best example of relationship change I've heard in a while, so, just sayin... Anyway, no matter what you do, it's your choice, and you have to be happy with it... Viva la difference!

Tatt...you sound like a very firmly grounded lady and youre advice to Al has been pretty much what I have told him for the past few months...Nobody is worth living a miserable life and ,even if there are children involved, sometimes ya gotta take the trash out! I thought my heart was broken once...found out that is was just a tiny bruise when I realized what a blood sucking life killing monster the girl really was...I got better in a HURRY when I stopped feelin sorry for myself!....I have a small tattoo the gorl in question put on me and I will never have it covered or removed....it serves to remind me of how foolish the heart can make us and to never ever do it again!!

Well Taz you got it! You understand what I was saying in total!!!!!!!!!!!!! See Daddy Rose, I did not answer my own question b/c it is not even the same now. I was young and I thought I was aware of what real love was so I leaped into it! I learned so much from that realtionship. If I had gotten his tattoo I would have regreted it as much as I did allowing him to be the sperm donor of my children. Now I have better judgement of a person and I make mature and wise decisions so I can be grown and sexy! As with yourself Taz I would be ok if It did not work out and I had that reminding tattoo because it would serve as something else that I got over moved on from and moved up and away from,if it ever came to that! I have been asked by others to get a tattoo with them, for them, but I never loved like this so I knew they weren't worth it. I feel good about the relationship I am in and I am a big girl whose not afraid. Daddy Rose , Taz is right, you do have pitty and I don't think you would speak the things you do if it weren't some truth to your situation. If the romance is gone in the home there is a reason and it will get worse if you don't fix whatever the problem is. Maybe your situation is not as bad as mine so you think, but it sure reminds me of how it once began, why else would I share it?! Iam a mother of a 21, 19, and 14 y/o. Now I offer you something to ponder on... If you are in something that would make you have pitty parties on line with people you have never seen regardless how long they may last, what will you do once your kids grow up and go to college or move out when you stayed in the relationship for them? Who will you be and what within yourself will you have? Once again I am in no way suggesting what you need to do, after all bad relationships are like tires, they can be pumped up and repaired if you have the right tools.

Daddy Rose, it is not about the dragon being cool 20 years from now or not. It is the meaning of what I get that makes the tattoo cool in the first place. I can live with the symbol of something from the greatest point in my heart regardless of the out come. Taz, who knows you may find that one who you would want to tattoo your body for. Until you reach the zenith of anythign or the pits of hell with anything do you really know how you will respond in the situation or get through it or even embrace it?

And by the way...Al (daddy rose ) is a good friend of mine and one great daddy to those girls...and he ain't about the "pity parties" either he is a strong man and is trying to do the right thing and is putting the little roses first...I can find no fault with that and I pray it all works out for him ...he is just too good a man to be unhappy Love ya you old fart!!..T

Taz, I believe that and it is clear you have a friendship with him. Don't take me wrong I think it is noble and he probably is a great guy. I just only know what I read and wrote only what I know is true. I hope happiness is in his life. I just have seen how a story like this can end.

I'm going to take a moment to think about these last few comments before I respond. I find it difficult to understand how one pre-owned moment of SELF-PROCLAIMED bitterness can be turned into me being some kind of pity-party king. I used that one moment of self proclaimed bitterness to illustrate my point that life can change, and in fact, the only constant in life is change. I owned it as a momentary lapse into bitterness before I even continued, yet somehow it's been used to give you a free superiority complex, and the impression that I am either somehow weak, or in need of your pity. Neither could be further from the truth. But I wanna mull this over for a bit because it deserves a thoughtful and eloquent response.

i personally think this all comes down to personal opinion and want. I had a horrible break up (we weren't married, but i was truely in love with this guy), and, even though i don't have a tattoo...there are still things every day that remind me of him. There are bad AND good things...he treated me like shit the last 6 - 9 months of our relationship, but what about the 2 years that led up to that? All of the good times, the good feelings? Wouldn't the tattoo have come at that point? Wouldn't the tattoo remind me of what i once shared and how i enjoyed it? I don't think past lovers, friends, etc should ever be forgotten...not the good times and not the hard times either. You learn from them all. So, maybe a tattoo isn't such a bad thing after all.

And you have a point too Ducky gorl...You can view it from a couple perspectives...you can curse the mistake of tattooing a name on yourself for what you once thought was true love or you can view it as history that you learned and grew from...everyone is different!...TAz

Okay. Thought it over. Truth is, I don't actually care enough about it to put the 30 minutes into it. Next....

Hey Daddy Rose, small hint... people who have the small thoguht that they are better than others really don't know themselves that right there eliminates me. In order to share your pain you first must be healed of it. Since you don't know, the difference allow me to enlighten you that a DSM 4 will give the real definition of a person with complexity issues. You may want to go back and read your own stuff dude! It makes you want to have a tissue when you read it. I never implied you were soft. I do believe I USED WORDS LIKE NOBLE AND GOOD! Perhaps you want to read that again as well.

Kudos on the DSM-4 reference. Not a lot of people would get that. Sorry. Too tired to bite on psychiatric crap. You win. Have a nice night anyway. Enjoy.

And besides, I thought it was "ItsDana's" job to dog me relentlessly on shit like this. You might have to get permission. You are horning in on her action.

Dude get over yourself. I don't give a rats ass what you do or who you do it with. I made one comment a long time ago that maybe you shouldn't make fun of people just cause they're different or have different likes than you and suddenly I "dog you relentlessly"...please. Grow up, I don't care if you're older than me, but if you can't take some freakin criticism you have a lot of maturing to do. And from what I can tell Tatt hasn't said anything offensive...you just percieved it that way. Get help and grow up.

Don't make me pull this forum over kids...this is just silly stuff dammittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dana, Oh my god! Sorry about that! I forgot to put the (LOL) at the end of that post which would have totally changed the overall tone of that post. I do sincerely apologize... we've had some great conversations, and I just see you as this kind of little beam of light when I'm complaining about something... sort of my alter ego. It was not my intention at all to come across like you are some kind of pain in my butt (well, sometimes you have been, but I enjoy it.) that I actually enjoy disagreeing with you on occasion, and we actually agree on a lot of stuff as well. I owe you a big apology, cause without that (LOL) the tone of this post got completely screwed up. Again, my fault, a complete misunderstanding in tone. That being said, That response of yours was not "Grown-Up" no matter what you thought, and apparently, maturity is something you pride yourself on. If I were you, I'd check your shit at the door and walk the walk. That kind of hypocritical bullshit pisses me off. You want people to grow up? Be a fucking example yourself. Now that being said, I still think you are an awesome person, and I value your cyber-friendship alot. I feel bad about that whole misunderstanding. You are a lot of fun to have on this forum. Hope that sets the record straight. Al

Understandable...without the joke you sounded like a jerk. You might see it as being immature, but when I feel like I'm being attacked, for no reason mind you, I tend to respond in kind. My response was human, not immature. It's not like I called you cuss words or something. I do walk the walk my friend, you see very little of who I am on this forum. I'll try not to make judgements about you, you do the same for me and we'll get along fine. I've got nothing against you. I come here to talk about tattoos and other interesting things, you contribute alot and I appreciate that. Sorry about the misunderstanding...I can't always take the "high road", I"m certainly not perfect. Dana

You are a loveable little pain in the ass. (LOL) I'm gonna give you this round... for now! p.s. I'm not that old.

AHHH..SHADDUP!!

Woohoo! I love to win! That's alright, I think the pain in the ass feeling is mutual (LOL)! What fun is life if you can't have someone to argue with occasionally! Yeah, I know, you're in you're 30's right? I'm only 24, so still a youngin' in my book. Dana

Can we go to Disney World now?

Uh... YES! YES, I am in my 30's! YES! That's the ticket exactly... (lol)

Hey guys, seems like a lot has gone on since I last checked in. I have had a lot going on. I have some personal goals and I have been slammed attempting to accomplish them. Daddy Rose, how the hell are ya? Well I will assume. No scores we just speak are minds. I missed your convo. Oh 3? is not old!